158 Cute and Funny Cow Names

Every animal needs a name. Or at least all of the animals living on our homestead or farm need a name! This isn’t just for personality either: smart animals, like cows, can learn their names and might come when called.

This can help them bond to you and even help you keep track of important logistics concerning how old they are, when you got them, and other factors if you know a few tricks.

But cow names don’t have to be boring. You don’t have to give them serial numbers or anything lame like that.

You can still give your cows fun, funny, adorable or interesting names that can make your life, at least, just a little more cheerful.

I’ll give you a big list of them below to provide you with inspiration, and tell you a little bit more about why it’s so important to name your cows.

Naming a Cow is More Important than You Think

Most people instinctively want to give their animals a name, but if you live on a working farm or just a homestead where your animals provide you with food and other useful products, naming them can actually be an important practical consideration.

For starters, intelligent animals like cows can and will learn their names. It’s true!

The trick is that their name needs to be something that is easy for an animal to both learn and remember, with a distinctive sound that won’t get confused with the name of any other cow. Easier said than done if you have a large herd!

This isn’t just for fun tricks or showing off your trained cow to friends and family, either…

An animal that will come to you when you call its name will be easier to handle, and this will help it bond to you: hopefully making everything that you need to do simpler and more straightforward – assuming you don’t have to put it down for slaughter later!

Consider Naming Your Cows According to a Theme

If you have just a handful of cows, you won’t have much trouble keeping track of them one way or the other, so you can name them whatever you want, no rhyme or reason.

But as the size of your herds grow, it is easy for details to start getting fuzzy. When did you get that cow? How old is that cow? Where did you get them, and did you get them with any others at the same time?

These are all questions that need answers because the answers might inform your choices concerning an animal’s health and disposition. This is where giving your cows themed names can really help…

I know lots of people that give all of their cows sets of “themed” names according to the year they were purchased.

Sometimes the names all start with the same letter. Sometimes they are named after musicians, actors or other famous professions. Things like that.

Any theme or mnemonic device that can help you put a pin on the date, or at least the year, you got your cow can help you remember other important things about them. You don’t have to, just something to consider!

158 Cute and Funny Cow Names

The following are all good names for cows, including baby cows. Short and crisp, fun, classy, clever, cute, and everything in between.

1. Bella

A popular name for girls and one with just a touch of class.

2. Bessie

Let’s be honest, you knew this name was going to be on here. In fact, I don’t think you can legally have cows if at least one of them isn’t named Bessie.

3. Betsy

Sort of a riff on Bessie. They sound the same, but this is another cute name for a young female calf, and one that will serve her well as she grows up.

4. Blossom

Blossoming, like a flower: Calves grow quickly, so your new addition will definitely deserve this name!

5. Brownie

Sort of tangentially dairy-related, because brownies are the perfect accompaniment to a glass of cold milk.

6. Bubbles

The perfect name for any calf with a bouncy and fun-loving personality.

7. Bucky

A classic name for a male calf, one with a touch of testosterone. Rolls off the tongue.

8. Buttercup

Another quintessential name for a cow, and one that any young calf will be proud to have.

9. Cienna

A sassy name with just a touch of mystery.

10. Clover

This name is a shoe-in for any calf with a marking that looks like a three-leaf clover. Also something cows will be eating plenty of.

11. Clyde

A great name for male calves with criminal inclinations. A born troublemaker.

12. Cookie

You know where this is going: what goes together better than milk and cookies?

13. Cupcake

Only the sweetest cows get to be named Cupcake. Here’s hoping she doesn’t grow up into a giant bruiser!

14. Daisy

Another quintessential name for any female cow.

15. Daisy Mae

A variation on Daisy, but one that is surprisingly popular. Seems like everyone I know has a cow named Daisy May.

16. Duke

A fun, bold and distinguished name for male calves. Or one given by John Wayne fans. Spurs not included.

17. Gigi

Short, sweet, easy to say and easy for a calf to learn.

18. Ginger

An especially good name for any calf with a coppery brown coat. You have to admit that food names just work for cows.

19. Hamlet

The preferred cow name for classic thespians and people who wish they bought pigs instead.

20. Honey

Why not make your calf’s pet name their actual name? Just make sure your cows don’t get mixed up.

21. Jeeves

The perfect name for any calf that follows you around everywhere. Lurking in the background, like a butler.

22. Leroy

A great name for any calf that likes to go charging in. Let’s do this.

23. Lulu

A sweet and cheerful name, perfect for good-natured female calves and one that will serve them well as they grow up.

24. Moo-Moo

When originality is just not your forte but you want a name that is appropriate.

25. Muffin

The proud legacy of food names for cows continues. It seems like the perfect name for a happy calf.

26. Nugget

For valuable or precocious calves.

27. Otis

Something about Otis just feels right for a cow. When I stop to think about a cow standing around chewing grass in a field, the name Otis just seems to fit.

28. Peanut

Another great name for precocious and prized baby cows.

29. Petal

Another interesting take on a flower-related name. You don’t hear of too many cows named Petal, but it does have a nice ring to it.

30. Poppy

A fun, bright name that can serve equally well for boy or girl calves.

31. Paddy

May the luck of the Irish ever be with your cows.

32. Rosie

Another sweet, wholesome and classic name for a young female cow. This one is at the top of my list. Not at the top of this list, but at the top of my list personally. I put this list in alphabetical order as a courtesy.

33. Rufus

A name that I wish would come back into style. Rufus: it just sounds so cool! Boys only.

34. Snickers

Smash species barriers by naming your calf Snickers, a name typically reserved for horses.

35. Sweetie

Another great example of making your cow’s pet name its actual name. But if you do it, you’ve got to commit, you can’t go around calling every cow “sweetie” from now on.

36. Tilly

A crisp, perfect and melodic name for a female calf.

37. Twinkle

If cows have put a twinkle in your eye you found the right name for any new calf.

38. Wilma

An old-fashioned name for women, but another one that just seems strangely appropriate for cows.

39. Winston

A name that immediately evokes one of the 20th century’s most famous and important leaders: Winston Churchill!

40. Zeke

We don’t see enough z names, and Zeke is one of the best. I think it’s a great name for a male calf, and hopefully he won’t grow up to be a screwball.

41-70. Brown Cow Names

If you’ve got a brown cow, some of the very best names for them are those that are an immediate play on their predominant color. Food, goods, natural materials and more: anything goes.

• Biscuit
• Brandy
• Brown Sugar
• Caramel
• Chestnut
• Cinnamon Stick
• Cinnabun
• Cola
• Espresso
• Fudge
• Ginger Snap
• Gingerbread
• Hazel
• Java
• Marble
• Mocha
• Nougat
• Nutmeg
• Rolo
• Rusty
• S’mores
• Saddle
• Sahara
• Sienna
• Tawny
• Teddy
• Toast
• Toffee
• Truffle
• Whiskey

71-100. Black and White Cow Names

Black and white cows are the most iconic ones there are. Naturally, it follows that a great name for a black and white cow is one that similarly references that color scheme from elsewhere in life.

• Barcode
• Checkers
• Chess
• Chip
• Coal
• Dalmatian
• Diesel
• Domino
• Fingerprint
• Holstein
• Ink
• Magpie
• Marley
• Milkshake
• Milky Way
• Moonlight
• Oreo
• Panda
• Panda Bear
• Patches
• Phantom
• Salt ‘n’ Pepper
• Siren
• Spot
• Rain
• Stormy
• Tuxedo
• Yin-Yang
• Zebra
• Zorro

101-128. Female Cow Names

I particularly like distinguished female names for cows. Most of them sound dissimilar so cows won’t get mixed up, and you’ll have plenty of options starting with the same letter each if you want to stick to the naming convention I described above.

• Abigail
• Agatha
• Beatrice
• Bernadette
• Charlotte
• Cordelia
• Doretta
• Dorothea
• Eleanor
• Estella
• Florence
• Genevieve
• Georgina
• Harriet
• Henrietta
• Josephine
• Katherine
• Lavinni
• Lillian
• Matilda
• Maude
• Octavia
• Priscilla
• Rosalind
• Tabitha
• Victoria
• Virginia
• Winifred

129-158. Male Cow Names

Male cows should get a distinguished name just like the females, but unlike females, you might sometimes have calls to keep a big and menacing bull on your property.

In that case, you’ll probably want to give him an equally impressive name so people know he means business!

• Angus
• Archibald
• Atticus
• Bertram
• Clarence
• Dexter
• The Don
• Edmund
• Eldridge
• Ferdinand
• Gilbert
• Grendel
• Horatio
• Ignatius
• Jasper
• Lionel
• Maximus
• Montgomery
• Nathaniel
• Orville
• Percival
• Reginald
• Randy
• Silas
• Taurus
• Thaddeus
• Thunder
• Titus
• Ulysses
• Zeus