Sometimes… mostly on the days when I actually slow down long enough to contemplate life… I am almost overwhelmed with a feeling of helplessness. Not a depressing helplessness, but one of frustration.
Sometimes, I feel so stuck.
Stuck in a world of too much stuff… too much debt… too much technology.
Stuck in an overwhelmingly demanding world.
I feel like we are working so hard to free ourselves from so many things. And yet we remain shackled.
We still have a mortgage. My husband has to work long hours away from home. I’m oftentimes strapped to the computer for longer than I care to admit. Our home seems to spill over with stuff, despite my best efforts to continually purge.
These things weigh on me.
Don’t get me wrong. I absolutely love my life. I’m so grateful for everything I have. I just can’t help but want more.
More freedom. More time. More simplicity.
It doesn’t come easily, my friends. This life we are working to have does not come easily.
It’s a daily struggle. It’s challenging. Like trying to swim against the current. And I suppose that really is what we are trying to do.
But you know what?
I don’t ever want to quit.
When I start to feel like I’m drowning, when our goals fall out of sight- that’s when I have to swim stronger than ever.
Because nothing worth having comes easily. And the “simple life” takes hard work. Not just physical work, but emotional and spiritual work. It takes faith and prayer, determination and steadfastness.
I also have to remind myself that the reward is not at the end of the road- the reward is the journey along the way.
And then I pick myself up by the bootstraps and get my hands back in the dirt. Because once you’ve come this far, there’s no going back.
You ever have days like that?
A city girl learning to homestead on an acre of land in the country. Wife and homeschooling mother of four. Enjoying life, and everything that has to do with self sufficient living.