For the past week or so I have really been struggling with the decision of whether or not to take this job offer. It sounds ideal, for a job! Six hours a day doing something I’d really enjoy, and I could come and go as I please. I can bring the kids with me, and know what’s going on with them. I’d have a room right off of my office where I could set Jada up for homeschooling still. And I would make enough money to be able to pay off our mortgage in five years! Who wouldn’t take that opportunity, right?
So, I went for an interview and explained that I was prayerfully considering the position. At a second interview they told me that I am their top pick, and that if I want the job it’s mine. But, there was a catch. They learned that I would not be able to keep baby Xia in the office with me, but they were willing to spend the money to renovate the daycare to put in a nursery just so I could keep Xia there.
The thought of paying off our home in five years was my motivation. That would be so awesome! I struggled with a decision though. There were so many “cons” to consider, and only the one “pro”- the money. Were all of those cons worth that one pro? I decided to elicit advice from those around me.
I gave them my pros and cons:
Paying off our house in 5 yrs.
- The kids will be exposed to more viruses, and get sick more often. (My kids are prone to ear infections. When Jada was in daycare with me she had chronic ear infections. She almost had to have tubes in her ears, but once I quit and started staying home she never had another ear infection again. Xia has already had one.)
- I get sick more often when working in daycare.
- I will have to leave Xia in the nursery.
- It will be really hard on Titus for me to leave him for the first few weeks.
- I will most likely work many Saturdays, evenings, and at home. I know I will.
- I won’t have as much time to garden and homestead.
- In two years when Titus is too old for daycare, I’ll have to decide how I’m gonna homeschool them both. Don’t know how that will work out.
- I’ll also have to be in charge of the Sunday school ministry; they want someone who will be involved in both ministries.
- As Xia gets older, I won’t be able to give her the time, attention, and teaching that I’ve given the other two cause she’ll have to be in a class.
- I’d like to have another baby in the next couple of years. It will be even harder for me to do the job with four babies!
- I’ll have to buy a new wardrobe. Right now I have like one or two suitable outfits.
- The housework may or may not get the attention it needs.
So, lots of reasons NOT to take the job. Yet, I still struggled with the temptation. One statement from a friend that really stood out was:
“I like the idea about when a person passes on they think about what all they did in their life… a person will rarely if ever say that they wish they worked more & paid off the house vs. spending more time with the kids.”
That is so true. My sister also made a good point when she told me that right now my kids are thriving, because it is my passion to teach. If I take the job, I will be giving that passion to everybody else, and taking it from my kids. I hadn’t thought of it like that.
I had prayed for peace making a decision, and I just couldn’t get peace. I prayed that when I visited the daycare I would just know if it was the right thing to do. I didn’t get that feeling. Was that my answer?
Yet I kept thinking, What if the Lord has opened this door because Jerry will be losing his job soon, and we will need my income? What if the economy is going to get really bad, and we will have a hard time making ends meet? I don’t want to lose our home. I don’t want to miss an opportunity and later regret it.
And then I realized, I was making a decision out of fear. Fear of the unknown. And I know that fear is not of the Lord. It is unwise to make decisions based on fear.
I have driven my poor husband nuts about this thing, going over the pros and cons. Finally the other night he said, “Kendra, don’t take the job. I don’t want you to. You won’t be happy.” And that was that. I knew he was right. I guess I just needed to hear it from him.
So, I’ve decided to let this one pass. It could have been a wonderful opportunity at another time in my life, but not now. Now is for my children. Other opportunities will present themselves in the future. I am happy where I am in life right now. My kids are happy. And I am at peace with my decision.