Don’t Be Afraid To Question

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Over the past few years I’ve begun to really question what doctors have told me. After becoming more aware of all of the medical mistakes that are being made by health professionals, and all of the drugs that are being recalled because of newly discovered, dangerous side effects, I have decided to do my own research and make my own decisions regarding my health, and the health of my loved ones.

This isn’t a post bashing the medical community. Doctors, Nurses, and Pharmacists are in incredible asset to our world, and work many miracles every day. They are undoubtedly valuable heroes to millions of sick and dying people. I am not here to discredit them. I am simply here to open your eyes to the irrefutable truth that mistakes are made, and it is imperative that we take our health into our own hands and make wise decisions regarding the recommendations of health workers.

Several times over the past few years I’ve had to make some really hard decisions regarding my health, and the health of my family. I won’t hesitate to make an appointment with a doctor if I need to. However, the recommendations that the doctors give and the medicine that they prescribe are not taken haphazardly. Before I agree to anything, I do my best to research my options before I make a decision. Sometimes I do exactly what the doctor tells me to do, and sometimes I do something that I feel is a better option for us.

I want to share with you some instances when I have decided to go against medical suggestions, and was so glad that I did. And other times when I did comply, and wish I hadn’t.

The first time that I really ever questioned what a doctor had told me, I was very pregnant with my second child. At a routine exam, one of my obstetricians told me that I had some type of yeast infection. He prescribed a vaginal suppository. Now, I had no idea that I had any kind of infection before that visit. No signs or symptoms, nothing to complain about or even notice. I wondered as I went home, “Why should I take this medicine if I don’t even have a noticeable problem?“. After filling the prescription, I sat down to read the information packet included. As I read the instructions, and filled the first applicator, I came to the warning section. I was really surprised when I came to a sentence which read: “has not been tested on pregnant women.” What? Wait a minute… how is my doctor going to tell me that it is fine for me to take when it hasn’t even been tested on pregnant women? I did not take the first dose. I was really confused about what to do. I didn’t want to risk a complication due to an untreated infection, but I also didn’t want to risk a complication from a drug which has unknown side effects for unborn children. What was I to do?

I waited until the next week, when I went in for another visit with the doctor. I told him about my concern regarding the medication, and about the warning that I had read. He shrugged it off, and tried to reassure me that it’s perfectly safe. Internally, I questioned his judgment. How does he know it’s safe if it has never been tested? So I asked, “Well, if I don’t take this medicine, what could happen?” He said, “Well, you just might develop uncomfortable symptoms from the infection. Itching, burning, that kind of stuff.” There was no danger to my unborn child. I pretty much told him I’ll take my chances. I threw the medicine away, and never did develop any sort of irritation or symptoms of any kind. I wonder sometimes if I even really had an infection! I felt good making my own mind up about my body and my health. And I didn’t have to worry about possibly harming my unborn child. It was actually very empowering to say “no thanks”.

After that, I really started doing more research on my own when it came to making up my own mind about health care. A little while later, when my daughter was two, Jada had experienced two urinary tract infections within a year. She was potty training at the time, and in hindsight I’m sure that that had something to do with it. The doctor became concerned and recommended that I have her go for an exam at the hospital to see if she had Bladder Reflux (or Vesicoureteral Reflux), a condition which can be dangerous to the kidneys (from what they explained). They scheduled her for an ultrasound and a VCUG at the local children’s hospital. Oh, how I will never forgive myself for allowing this procedure to happen. But I was new to all of this. What’s a mom supposed to do? It was a catch 22. If I didn’t take her for the test, and she did have a severe problem, then it could be harmful to her. But if I did take her, and they found nothing wrong, I would have put her through all of that torment for nothing. After much consideration, I decided it was better to be safe than sorry.

The morning I took her to the hospital, my husband took off of work to be with me. I’m so glad he did. We waited for a long time in the waiting room, but finally they called us back. First they did the ultrasound on Jada. They had her lie down on a table as the nice nurse showed Jada all of the colors of her “insides” on the monitor. She gave her stickers, and even a little doll. Jada enjoyed herself, and captured the heart of the nurse. As I watched my precious little girl laying there, unaware of what was coming next, I kept having to leave her side and wipe my tears out of her sight. I fought back my crying the best that I could. I didn’t want to scare her. The nurse swept Jada away, and carried her to the next room where she was to get the VCUG.

When the nurses saw that I was pregnant, they told me that I had to leave the room. They would be using an x-ray, and it wouldn’t be safe for me. I stayed with her for as long as I could. They made her strip down naked, and then they strapped her onto a hard, narrow board, clamping her head in place, and strapping her arms down, and her legs spread apart. Oh my goodness! How could I allow them to violate her in such a way! This was three years ago, and I still have tears in my eyes as I recall the whole event. She was scared, and crying. She kept saying, “I’m all done. I don’t like this. Please… I’m all done!” My husband was able to stay with her, but I had to leave. I stood out in the hallway and cried, absolutely sobbing and praying. I could hear my little girl in there crying, hurting and scared, begging them to stop. My husband told me that they inserted a catheter to fill her bladder. Then this board that she was on began tilting from side to side, violently jerking every time it went back and forth. I could hear the nurses telling her, “Just pee-pee and you will be all done.” They kept telling her that over and over. She was just crying, begging for mercy. I cried and said quietly, but aloud, “Pee-pee, baby. Go pee-pee. Please, please just pee-pee, baby.” Finally, finally! I heard the nurses telling her, “Good girl. Good job. You’re all done now.” I rushed into the room and grabbed her into my arms. I held her close and did my best to comfort her. We went to McDonald’s afterwards for a hot fudge sundae, and I let her play on the playplace for a while. Later that night, I noticed that she had bloody scrapes on both sides of her head where that clamp had cut into her scalp. Still to this day she is terrified that the doctors will hurt her “pee-pee” again.

I will never, ever forget how my heart broke for my poor child. And I feel so guilty that I allowed it. Why did I allow it in the first place? Because the doctor told me that when children have this reflux condition, they need to take antibiotics for many more years to prevent further infections. Of course, the thought of so many antibiotics scared me to death, and I prayed and prayed that she would not have this problem. A few days later the doctor called me with the good news that she did not have VUR. It was bittersweet. I hated that she had gone through all of that for nothing, but of course was extremely relieved that she was fine.

And I was even more angered at the situation after reading an article in the Nov. 2007 issue of American Baby Magazine, which was talking about this bladder reflux condition. It mentioned the daily antibiotic treatment prescribed by doctors for children with VUR, and spoke of a study done by a Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia which examined 611 children who were undergoing these treatments. It stated that “90 percent of the kids who took the preventative antibiotics developed an antibiotic-resistant recurrent infection.” If only we had known. How very sad for those children and their parents. It makes me wonder what other treatments will prove to have devastating consequences. Thankfully, Jada has never had another UTI. If only I had waited…

My latest “bout” with medical professionals really fed my doubt for their complete competence. When baby Titus got pinkeye (Conjunctivitis), I tried using an herbal treatment at first, but I was having a hard time getting the drops into his tightly shut eyes so the symptoms only got worse. After the third day I took him to see the doctor. My regular pediatrician was unavailable, so I had to see somebody else. I didn’t like him. I’ll call him Dr. R. He was very quick to prescribe something, even though he was unsure whether the conjunctivitis was viral or bacterial. He told me, “Just to be sure, we’ll just give him this.” I did not like the idea of giving my baby prescription eye drops used to treat a bacterial infection, if it was merely a virus that would clear on its own. Nevertheless, I did as I was told and later that night I gave him his first drop of the medicine before bed.

It was about 4 hours later when I heard Titus crying in his crib. I went in to check on him, and when he sat up and looked at me I was horrified to see that his right eyelid was extremely puffy and red, to the point of being almost completely swollen shut. I picked him up in a panic, saying “Oh my goodness! Oh my goodness! Look at your eye! What is wrong with your eye?!”  I waved my hand in front of his face, and his one good eye moved, but the swollen eye could not. Was he going to be blind? I woke my sleeping husband to show him poor Titus’ eye.

I immediately got on the phone and called my Pediatrician’s office. The after-hours nurse answered. After I told her what had happened she told me that I should take him to the Emergency Room. She said it could be a secondary infection, and it might be worse in the morning if it didn’t get treated. I hung up with her, and cried. I prayed and cried. I knew that if I took the poor, sleepy little guy to the ER at 11:30pm, it wouldn’t be until early in the morning before we’d be back home where he could finally rest again. I agonized over the decision. Do I wait and let him rest, or do I take him because it might get worse? After a time, I decided I would let him sleep. He was exhausted. And I recalled Jada’s trauma, and didn’t want to torture him as well. I stayed awake all night long, sitting on the couch with the baby monitor by my side, listening for a whimper from him, crying and praying that it would get better by morning. I was terrified. He woke up again at 3am. and when I got him up I noticed that his eye was looking a little bit better. I thanked the Lord, held him in my arms until he fell back asleep, and then laid him down for more rest. By the morning his eye was considerably better, though still a little swollen. I called the doc’s office again as soon as they opened and told them what was going on. They decided it was an allergic reaction. Dr. R wasn’t in, so they consulted another doctor, who called in an alternate prescription. I went to the pharmacy, picked up the new prescription, and took it home as directed.

Before I gave Titus the medicine, I read the insert for any warnings. Now check this out, the first prescription eye drops that I had given Titus were called Ciprofloxacin. The second set of drops that I was prescribed were called Vigamox.  When I read the warnings for the Vigamox I was dumbfounded to read, “if you have had an allergic reaction to Ciprofloxacin, do not use this product!” Wait… What?! Didn’t the doctors know this? Wasn’t this something they should have warned me about?  I sat there extremely troubled by the lack of knowledge displayed by the pediatricians. I mean, we trust them to know what is best for our children, right? They should have known better!

After that I was done with the meds. They both went into the trash. I went back to my original method of home remedy treatments, and within a couple of days his eyes were clear. What did the doctor say? “Oh, well I guess it was just viral.” Guess is exactly right.

I know I’ve written a forever long post, so I won’t even go into the “bacterial infection” that Titus came down with the week after the pinkeye. I won’t even begin to describe all of the exams, blood tests, and shots of antibiotics that were given to him for four straight days while the doctor’s guessed what was wrong. It all ended up being a nasty virus, unaffected by any antibiotics. What a mess. I’m thoroughly let down.

*Oh, and I forgot to mention that the doctor didn’t even know about the warning that the FDA had issued regarding the antibiotic shot that they were giving Titus. I asked the docs about it, and they hadn’t even heard of the warning. Not very reassuring. Evidently they just don’t have time to bone up on all of the latest warnings and recalls the FDA issues regarding medications.

The point of all of this,

Don’t be afraid to question what a medical person is telling you. Doctors are human too, and they are subject to make mistakes just as anybody else is. Educate yourself and decide if what they are saying sounds right. Research your meds before you unquestioningly ingest them. Search for alternatives, and know the pros and cons. Don’t feel bad for taking your life, and the life of your loved ones, into your own hands. Because ultimately it’s you who has your family’s best interest in mind.

Do you have a story to share? Has there been a time when you wished that you had listened to what the doctors told you, or has there been a time when you really should have second guessed their opinion? I’d love to hear your experiences and comments.


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Kendra
About Kendra 1104 Articles
A city girl learning to homestead on an acre of land in the country. Wife and homeschooling mother of four. Enjoying life, and everything that has to do with self sufficient living.

26 Comments

  1. Hi! I just wanted to ask if you ever have any trouble with hackers? My last blog (wordpress) was hacked and I ended up losing many months of hard work due to no back up. Do you have any methods to prevent hackers?

  2. I appreciate this post, Kendra! So many moms, especially new moms, are afraid to question the Dr! But, you are exactly right, there are times when (sadly) we are more informed about the latest discoveries than the doc is. The hard thing is being humble when the doctor is somewhat belligerent towards you you for your “ignorance.”

    I have too many stories to share in this one blog comment box (after all, I have 5 kids). But, I think the worst in our family has been the way my daughter reacted to vaccinations. She went from 95% to “failure to thrive” in a matter of months. There is more to the story than this. You can read our vaccination stories here –
    http://graceinbloom.blogspot.com/2008/10/vaccinations-part-1.html

    (That is my old blog. The blog listed in the box above, where you visited earlier today, is my current blog.)

    Bethany

  3. I have become very sceptical of doctors and their quick advice over the years. I research everything and often find that the doctor has given poor advice or prescribed meds that are more dangerous than helpful. I stumbled on a website “mercola.com” and found it refreshing – though most doctors and pharmacutical’s dislike him completely, he hasn’t sold out to Big Pharma – lots of negative on the internet about him. But those of us who do follow his advice find ourselves healthier and have more energy. He doesn’t claim to be an expert on all things medical, does much of his own research at his own expense, and follows his own advice, and he has changed his mind on many things over the years when new information becomes available, and shares the new information quickly after researching it himself or by his medical staff. I don’t use his advice as a final word – but usually as a starting point for further research.

    Using his advice almost 4 years ago, I was able to lower my blood pressure to normal and have my son with a midwife instead of a routine C-Section in the hospitlal. Counts for something in my book.

  4. After blindly following the pack and having an OB during my pregnancy with my oldest, that was enough. I’m good with mommy intuition – I’m pretty good at it, too.

    My now-3yo had a heart murmur the family doc found when he was 1yo. I wasn’t all that concerned. I didn’t have that gut feeling that something was wrong, nor was kiddo exhibiting any symptoms of something being wrong. At his 2yo checkup, doc heard the same murmur (I’d been hoping kiddo would outgrow it). Hubby and doc managed to talk me into taking kiddo to the pediatric cardiologist. Well, half a day of dragging a 2.5yo and 3mo around their office for 2 hours and $600 out-of-pocket later, kiddo’s heart murmur is nothing. He may outgrow it, he may not, but it’s nothing that will harm him or hamper his growing or anything. Aka, mommy was right. Which I told the doc about.

    Again, my now-3yo… he had a yeast infection. We’d tried our home remedy stuff that I knew of – showers only, cutting out fruits and juices and as many refined sugars as we could, and using an awesome cream from a wahm that I have on hand for diaper rash or irritations or whatever. It almost went away. It came back a week or two later. So I promptly went in to the doc to get a prescription for Nystatin cream. The doc had to do his whole diagnosis and so on, I went through all the things we’d tried doing (which he as impressed with!), and that I was only there in his office for the Nystatin prescription. He was shocked I knew exactly what we needed, how to use it, and so on. Granted, I’ve been in mommy mode for several years now and I tend to run in a more alternative crowd, but still.

    Or when my girl was born last year. She came at 41w6d. No OB’s in my county “let” women go past 40 weeks, let alone 41 weeks and then some. Good thing I had a midwife and a good track record with pushing out fully cooked kiddos.

    My hubby’s had a few run-ins as of late with some doctors, but that’s not really internet fodder. Needless to say, we probably do more research on potential problems than our local slew of doctors. And as a bonus, MIL is a pharmacist who *has* to keep updated on medications and such, so we can use her as a reference (i.e. what allergy med can be taken while on certain antibiotics that won’t reduce the effectiveness of either?). Which is nice. Sometimes. 😉

  5. Unfortunately, they don’t call it a license to “practice” medicine for nothing.

    I have worked in the medical field for some 13 or 14 years now and absolutely love this post. I agree with your recommendations to take your well being into your own hands wholeheartedly.

    Congratulations on the sound decisions and choices that you have made for you and your family.

    All the best, Paul.

  6. I think everybody needs to find a balance. I too rarely go to the doctor or take my kids. However, when my second child was 18 months old she became very sick (105 temp and blood in her urine) and it was found that she had a serere kidney and bladder infection that required IV antibiotics and a week hospital stay. She too did the test for reflux and it was found that she indeed had it. I am grateful that is was found so it could be treated properly. My pediatrician prescribed a years worth of antibiotic. I didn’t fill the script and instead used natural herbs and such to prophylactically treat her agenst any infection. A year later she was re-tested and the reflux had taken care of itself. I am very grateful to a good Dr, who saved my daughters kidney’s from recurrent infection and utimately kidney damage. This same daughter was found to me anemic and was prescribed iorn supplements, I didn’t fill the script (I tend to do that!) and researched and fed her iron rich foods, the anemia went away. I thankful for the knowledge that my doctors have, they can point me in directions that I wasn’t aware I needed to go. When it comes to treatment, I pretty much do the research and go my own route!

  7. How hard to see your little ones suffer! Especially when the doctors should have known better.

    It is so frustrating to not know if you can trust doctors. I am dealing with that now as I try to find someone to deliver my twins. So much of what they learn in medical school is just routine procedure stuff and not at all centered around each individual’s needs. Sad. Doctors and patients are way too slow to question and do research on their own. I get frustrated to see how many people just believe everything they are told just because the doctor said it.

    It’s so great to hear that you are using your head and prayer to filter your decisions. 🙂

  8. The hospital I work for sent my co-worker/one-of-my-bestest-friend’s husband home from the ER and told him there was nothing wrong with him. Eight hours later he was at our competitor’s ER barely hanging on to life b/c he had ONE PINT OF BLOOD IN HIS BODY.

    Same E.R.: My ten-year-old was sent home with specific instructions to care for and clean his very swollen foreskin (long story!)…He was circumcised when he was 3 1/2 days old.

    Same E.R.: My 2 1/2 month old baby was sent home with specific instructions to treat his infected throat with THROAT LOZENGES.

    Idiots!

    Thank God I don’t work in the medical part of the hospital. If I had to work with absolute fools like that and take the heat for their mistakes, I would go across town and work for the competition.

  9. Hi there! I just stumbled across your blog tonight and had to comment on this post because I completely agree with your lack of faith in the medical professionals. I wholeheartedly agree that while the advancement in medicine has meant so many wonderful things for people in general, we each have to be responsible for our own health and that of our family.

    I have a story from a couple of years ago. My husband and I were on a cruise and were trying to conceive our first child. On the last day of the trip, I came down with a UTI from all of the ‘trying’! I went to our family doctor (whom we both thought very highly of by the way), and warned her that it was possible I could be pregnant. She said that she would just give me a pregnancy test to rule it out. I told her that if I was, it wouldn’t show up on the test yet because it would have JUST happened. Of course the test came back negative, and she said that she would go ahead and prescribe me this one medicine because I probably wasn’t pregnant. I asked her what the risk was if I was pregnant, and she said that it could cause limb malformations. But she said I really shouldn’t worry because I probably wasn’t pregnant anyways and if I was, it was so early on it probably wouldn’t affect the fetus. So I took the prescription and left. It was eating at me, though, so I called her office that night and requested a pregnancy-safe prescription, to which she obliged. I took the safe medication and one week later found out that I was, in fact, pregnant. I have a healthy little boy, and I can’t help but wonder how things might be different if I had just assumed I wasn’t pregnant and taken the first medication. I’m glad I listened to my instincts.

  10. I have a story similar to Treva. For years I had had lower abdominal pain. It started when I was 12. The first couple of times it happened my parents rushed me to the ER. I was one of those kids they did horrible test to, and then had the doctor accuse me of having sex and getting pregnant. He wanted to do a pelvic exam in the middle of the ER hallway, “since, all the rooms were being used for more important things.” Luckily, my parents said, “NO!” and took me home. Well, they then took me to my normal doctor and he couldn’t figure it out, but for some reason put me on the pill… at 12. He thought it might have had something to do with my hormones, but wasn’t really sure. So I stayed on them for a year. Then came back off, and life was good – for about 2 years.

    Then I started having major pain again. Back to the ER. The conclusion was that my appendix was flaring up but never getting officially infected. So, again the regular doctor put me back on birth control. Again, thinking wow, this is random… treating an appendix with birth control, but ok.

    So, I was officially on birth control… from 16 on. Well the pains kept coming and going, but they were debilitating. I would spend days in the ER and no one could figure it out. They would just send me home with pain killers. Eventually the pain would lessen and go away.

    Well, it finally got bad. I thought I was dying. A friend took me to the ER because I couldn’t move for the pain. The ER doctor kept trying to convince me I was pregnant and it was ectopic. I kept telling him there was no way I was pregnant… that you have to have sex to get pregnant and I wasn’t.

    Well after 13 hours in the ER with them telling me I was pregnant (they never did a pregnancy test mind you), they finally decided to do an ultra sound. They found a cyst the size of a navel orange on my right ovary. Well, the doctor decides that it really is nothing to worry about and that I should just follow up with a regular OB/GYN in the next 2 weeks or so because nothing bad comes from ovarian cyst. So he sends me home and says to take Tylenol.

    At this point I am still screaming from the pain. It is 24 hours since I first crawled into the ER (not the waiting room part of the waiting). My friend takes me home. He leaves me to go home and try to get some sleep since he has been up all night. Two hours later I am calling him again.

    This time I am sure I am dying. I scream all the way back to the ER. This time I get a different doctor (who is now my permanent OB/GYN). He takes one look at me and says I have 2 hours until he performs emergency surgery. I am panicking. What is going on?

    Well, between when they did the ultra sound and that point, the cyst had doubled in size. Being that big it had gone into torsion and was cutting off all blood flow to the ovary. The doctor was worried that it was going necrotic as we waited. I was really scared, in pain, and worried about my future of having kids.

    Well, when he got inside me to look at it, my poor ovary was dead and starting to rot inside me. After surgery when he told me that I was devastated. How could that happen? I was 23. I wasn’t supposed to have that happen. Why didn’t the other doctor catch it? Why didn’t someone over the years see that I had cyst instead of just telling me to take the pill?

    At this point in life I am permanently on the pill until my husband and I (with God’s guidance) decide to have kids. I have been told that if I come off the pill for longer than a couple of months at a time (without being pregnant) I will probably loose my other ovary. That is scary to know that I am 26 and my life revolves around a pack of pills, and oh the challenge with those. I still make cyst, just not as big, and it is a part of life.

    But, I will say I no longer take any doctor’s thoughts as the gospel truth. They didn’t catch something that will and does affect the rest of mine and my husband’s life. Stay informed and if something doesn’t feel right then it isn’t right and keep looking for the right answer.

  11. I questioned my ob/gyn when a year ago I was having serious problems with my cycle — pain so bad I could barely move and would cry and have to take two off from work every month to deal with it. He kept saying, “just take your pill” as in my birth control pill. And I listened. I stayed with him for almost 10 months calling every single month when my cycle would start crying on the phone with the nurse about how bad the pain was; I was given a prescription pain killer and told to alternate it with an OTC pain killer (overkill much?). I finally sought a second opinion. I had to meet with the new dr. in his office before the exam and I told him the regimine my other dr. had me on and how I was following it, but thought something was wrong. He did an exam and discovered a cyst on my right ovary and said he firmly believed I had endometriosis and he would like to do surgery to remove the cyst and burn off the endo. while there. Finally! An answer! I knew the pain was not normal and once I found a dr. who would listen it was like being told, “No you’re not crazy.” I had the surgery (cyst removal, D&C, and removal of endo.); the dr. said my endo was much more severe than he anticipated and he burned off as much as could without cutting my open to get to the underside of my uterus. Then he said I would have to go back on the pill, pretty much indefinately — as in no breaks and no more cycles. He believes a continuation of my cycle means the endo will build back up and I’ll be having a hysterectomy next time instead of just a minor laproscopic burning. Even though it was a rough road for a while, I’m finally living a pain free life. Now I deal with my bittersweet: on one hand my hormone levels are stable and DH says that’s been very nice (!!) and my cycle is almost non-existant; on the other hand having any more children (I have one daughter; 4) could become difficult the longer I’m on the pill and without a cycle and if we decide for more children, sooner rather than later is *strongly* recommended. Most likely we will not have anymore unless God intervenes and says otherwise! Really, the pain I endured is not something I would wish upon anyone, but the fact that this dr. would allow me a year of agony without once doing a thorough exam just dumbfounds me. I’m so glad I followed my gut and found another dr. who would listen.

  12. I can totally relate with those stories, Kendra! (sigh) Unfortunately, over time and through six children, my confidence with doctors has gone out the window and pretty much stayed there. You asked for sharing stories, so I’ll share a couple of mine.

    My first story surrounded my six-week-old (2nd child). First off, I personally have asthma, so know what it’s like to not be able to breathe at times. My little guy (Josiah) developed the RSPV (Respiratory something-another virus) that attacks their little lungs and is actually fatal if not caught and taken care of. Josiah was struggling to breathe to the point that I finally called my Pediatrician to ask when I should bring him in, and to what point should I let this go. I think I must have caught this doctor at a bad time during his evening, because not only was he put out that I phoned him, he was rude and his comment to me was, “When he starts turning blue, bring him in.” (sigh) No encouraging considering I was 30+ minutes away from the hospital. I finally just took Josiah in to the ER and praised the Lord I did. Had I waited “until he turned blue” he would be dead right now. The ER staff took one look at this little child and instantly put him on a breathing unit, amongst a whole slew of other apparatuses. That was my “thankful to ignore doctor’s advice” times.

    The 2nd story surrounds my 3rd son (Micah) and is one that I “wished I had…..” type stories. Micah was born a tad different down yonder (trying to word things gently here), so that when he was circumcised at about a week old they had to stop mid-stream (sorry for the pun) and stitch it back on! Poor guy!! That was tough in itself! However, we had awesome doctors and a Urologist that was super then so things went well!! We were told, tho, that when Micah was about 4 or 5 he’d have to have this done again – surgically – put under – the whole nine-yards. It did come to the time that it was hurting Micah to urinate – so we made that dreaded appointment. I think he was 5. It came time to take him in and they assured us that Micah would be “out” from some “cocktail” they put together so he wouldn’t even know that he was taken from us. Well – that didn’t happen. He was not asleep and very wide awake and had to be yanked, screaming, from Daddy’s arms. We weren’t allowed past a certain “point” in that surgery room. That was the first time I’d ever thought – wait a minute!!! Scrub me up – put me in a gown – I AM going in there with him!!! But when you’re nursing a new-born and worried, etc., your mind doesn’t work well sometimes. When Micah came out from under the knife (having done very well) he woke up hard (which is common) and the nurse was horrid with him. I can only imagine what Micah must have been thinking and feeling when he woke in a strange room, hurting down below – and – being called “Robert” (where they got this I’ll never know). I have to say that I was a tad livid with that whole process. I also think that this was the final time we’d gone to a doctor without trepidation.

    There are other incidents that involve ER doctors more concerned with belittling me and my personal preference of not wanting to immunize my children until their systems are “more mature” than looking at the injury. (sigh)

    But top that with having some very good ER experiences, too, where I’ve met awesome doctors who have a ton of kids like me (I’ve six thus far), and can totally relate to scrapes and bruises. (grin)

    I think a poll with me would be that I only go when I absolutely must – and then put on a wall of protection first so that I can discern what is being done and said! :o)

    Sorry this was long winded – but there you have my stories, too! Thanks for sharing, Kendra! Isn’t it awesome to know you are not alone?? (lol)

    Hugs

    Sue

  13. Good for you, Kendra. I’m a retired RN and I think you are doing the right thing. Doctors are only human.

  14. Reading what your family has gone through as definitely encouraged me to not just take our doctor’s word and run with it. Being a new mom, it’s hard when the doctor says something could be wrong with your child, but reading your stories makes me realize that they can make mistakes too.

  15. I have a 3.5 & 15 month old and quit a few of these similar stories. I’m def. learning, prayer is best! I cried too when I read about your daughter. When my oldest was a year he had to get a cathader (b/c he had a fever that wouldn’t go down, how that makes sense still not sure?) and they told me it wouldn’t hurt, just uncomfortable, but blood came shooting out?! crazy. later my MNL who is a retired RN told be it’s extremely rare that a child under 5 would need that done and she has only seen it necessary twice in all her years! I call her very often now, though she loves medicine. Thanks for the post, sometimes it feels like my kids are the only ones. LoL.

  16. FIND A NEW DOCTOR!! when my son was maybe 8 years old,its been many years ago, and I cant exactly remember, he also got a uti infection, evidently , its rare for boys, I dont really know if it is or not, but thats what our doctor said. He also wanted me to send my son to a urologist for a test like I think your talking about. I thought, why does it have to be an anomaly for him to have one uti infection? I didnt feel right about the testing and did not pursue it. He was treated with antibiotics and never had another one. I still dont know if it was rare or not, but nothing came of it.

  17. I think that because of situations like this, it’s so important to find a doctor that you can trust. I tried three OBGYNs before I found one that I could trust. I guess you could say that I was burned by my first OBGYN. Thankfully, God provided a new doctor that is a Christian, prays for me, and that I feel I can talk to and address all of my concerns.

    With my first OBGYN, I was a newbie, it was my first child and I was only 19. I had no idea what to expect, and wasn’t about to challenge the authority of the doctor. Long story short, I was convinced that I need to schedule an induction for right around the due date because my daughter was going to be huge.

    Hesistant, I scheduled the induction. I went in the night before to get some medicine to soften my cervix….since my body wasn’t getting ready on its own (should have been my first clue!). All night long my daughter’s heart rate was way above 200. We mentioned it to the nurse, but she said it was okay and we didn’t need to worry. When the next shift of nurses came in they took out the medicine and called my doctor. I ended up having to have a c-section because of my daughter’s heart rate. All things said and done, she ended up only weighing 7 lbs. 12 oz. Not really a big baby at all. Oh well, this was definitely a learning experience that I have shared with everyone I know who might encounter the same situation.

  18. Great post! I cried when I read about the test your daughter had to have.
    As a nurse, it frustrates me that most people just take doctor’s advice as gospel, without doing their own research. Or trusting their own instincts.
    Good for you for taking yours and your family’s health into your own hands.

  19. I’m so sorry you’ve been through so much with your pediatricians. When I hear stories like that, I want to ask if you have other options in your town? Have you asked other moms which pediatricians they’re using and their experiences? On the one hand, you should tell your dr’s office when they make a mistake (prescribing the similar eyedrops) as an informed consumer and concerned mother. On the other hand, I would get OUT of that office and find a new, competent set of doctors for your children. You should find someone that is more “in sync” with you, examining your kids when you feel it’s necessary, answering all your questions, and considering your instincts and concerns as well as their own (after all, you’re the one who knows your child best).

  20. Good for you Kendra!! I’ve had such bad treatment from doctors in the past as well. I have had a certain ER doc give bad diagnosis or wrong diagnosis. I unfortunately saw this doc 2 times. The first time I saw him was after my second child was born. I had pain in my upper abdominal area and he took chest exrays barely looked at the films and decided that it was pneumonia (probably because that is what I told him I thought it was). The second time was just after my third was born and he had not only chest exrays but abdominal exrays and an ultrasound because a nurse told him she thought I had gall stones. Guess what he diagnosed me with .. Gall stones! Bad Doctor! I did some research after refusing to get my gall bladder removed and found out that it was probably an ulcer. I saw my regular doc and described everything to him and he gave me prevacid (for ulcers) for a month. The pain completely went away and I have not had problems since.

  21. Suffice it to say, I agree wholeheartedly and have had many similar negative experiences, with myself, my husband and my children.

    We rarely see a conventional doctor these days, and if we do, we usually smile as we accept the prescription slip, and immediately throw it out upon leaving the office. I research everything myself, use natural medication alternatives, and in general do not trust the medical profession. This is not to say that I think they are all incompetent, or that none of them have ever been right or helpful, or even that we are not grateful to have access to some forms of medical care (because we are).

    I think it is the responsibility of each person, and each parent, to learn for themselves about their own health, the options, the consequences for those options, and then make an informed and prayerful decision. Our society relies too much upon the so-called “expertise” of the medical profession, rather than on the fact that we are intelligent people, capable of entering into the decisions ourselves.

    Thanks for this wonderful post! 🙂

  22. Oh, I cried when I read this.I have had many run ins with doctors as well. My son has a very rare skin disease and has been diagnosed with prelymphoma, so we have been to lots of doctors over the past 6 years. While I have had a lot of bad, by God’s grace we have had been blessed by a lot of good!

    We currently have a doctor who is wonderful in his approach. He never does any tests unless he absolutely feels it is necessary and is as non invasive as possible. We really like him a lot, although we have to travel 2 hours away! When our son was first diagnosed, we had family members offering to send us all over the country for second and third opinions, because they felt that our dr. wasn’t doing enough. Our dr. did offer us additional opinions, but was very open about his concerns that other doctors would become very aggresive with treatment and put our son through much more than was needed. After much prayer and deliberation, we feel at perfect peace with our current doctor, although our family gets upset with us for not doing more. It has been a tough situation! I would not ever make medical decisions rashly for my children without a lot of prayer, as I have seen the pros and cons of the medical field. I am thankful that God has always faithfully guided us in this matter!

  23. You poor thing! My hand was pressed hard against my mouth reading this post. Your poor little girl. I don’t know what I would have done. I could have cried, had I not been at work now.

    I would have lost my unborn son had I not researched on the internet and requested a certain blood test. The midwives, all throughout my pregnancy, kept telling me to stop doing internet research because I was freaking myself out. What was with that!? Finally I looked it up and saw that I might have a very rare condition for pregnant women and when I asked for the blood test when the midwife was almost out of the office, she turned around and said, “Ya know, I thought about that…” If I hadn’t Sam would have died inside of me…
    TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS, LADIES!!!

  24. Good for you Kendra! It took 2 years after the birth of my second son for me to realize that my pedi. didn’t know best. My 2nd child was diagnoised with asthma at an early age and was put on breathing treatments and steroids. His asthma “flared” up every 5-6 weeks for the first 2 years of his life which means he was taking steriods every 6 weeks for 2 years! I finally got fed up at his 2 year check up and decided that there must be a better way. A friend recommended chiropractic care and I was VERY skeptical, but I was also fed up with the MD. After seeking chiropratic care, my son has been asthma free for about 2 years!! We also no longer take allergy medication 🙂

  25. Man, how awful for your little girl. 🙁 I cried when I read about the procedure she had to go through. How scary. 🙁

    Like you, I’ve learned to question everything I’m told by the Peds. I haven’t had any serious issues, but I’ve read of others, like yourself, who have & it’s made me want to question.

    This past winter, my oldest got the flu. She is 6 yrs old & has really never been sick, but she started kindergarten last year & ended up catching a few things here & there. Well the flu really did her in. She ended up missing an entire week of school. She was never one to run a fever, even as an infant. So when she had a 104.6 fever, I was a little freaked out, so we went to the doctors. He checked her out, but never really said she had anything. Mentioned a stuffy nose & a terrible cough, that’s it. But he prescribed her Omnicef. Huh? For what, exactly? “Just in case.” Yeah, she didn’t get the meds. I just did lots of fluids & rest & she got better on her own.

    I’m not one that will take the kids to the doctor, if I can avoid it. Like you did with the pinkeye, I try to do stuff at home, first. I’ll use the doctors as a last resort.

  26. I’m so sorry for what happened with your little ones. I think it’s great that you don’t just accept what they say without question.

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