I have yet another confession to make…
I am not exactly the most submissive wife.
As a teenager I was rebellious and stubborn, and I can’t honestly say much has changed in that respect as I’ve grown older. I just direct my obstinacy toward different things (like the media, social pressures, an overbearing government, etc)… and unfortunately my husband is sometimes among them.
One of the many challenges we have faced with this new lifestyle is the need to compromise. Particularly in the area of how we will do things here. How many chickens should we get. How much money are we willing to spend on that. Where should the clothesline go. How should the greenhouse be built.
We each have our own opinions.
And they don’t always coincide.
Okay… they rarely coincide.
I should probably be a good, submissive wife and leave it up to my dear husband. But instead, it always goes like this:
- We talk about a project that needs to be done.
- Jerry goes out and works on the project, unbeknownst to me.
- I go out to find him proudly finishing up.
- And I freak out ’cause it’s totally nothing like what I had in mind.
You’d probably get a kick out of watching the whole scene unfold. And I swear, it always, ALWAYS, happens this way!
I know. Poor Jerry.
The real problem, lack of communication.
We’d both agreed that a chicken run needed to be built, but my picture of how it would look and what Jerry had in mind were two TOTALLY different things. And we’d neglected to share with each other how we thought it should be done.
And he thinks his way is best.
And I think my way is best.
And once it’s built and I go outside to discover it, and hate it, we have a nice… ah-hem… discussion about it.
It never ends up ugly. I promise. We never truly fight. (Only because Jerry is so patient and cool-headed. One of the many reasons I married him.)
But it definitely gets heated. And we are both very frustrated.
And after we’ve discussed why it should be done our own ways, we compromise.
Translation: I win.
I have successfully convinced him that my way is best. And then I’m satisfied.
Jerry. How I love him. He is so incredibly accommodating.
And then he laughs and wraps his big arms around me and says, “You know why I like to argue with you, don’t you? ‘Cause you’re so cute when you’re mad!”
And I try to hide my smile as I playfully push him away and scold him.
And that’s how it’s done. Communication and compromise.
One of these days we’ll learn our lesson and talk it all out beforehand!