Adjusting To Life With Three


You’ve probably noticed that I haven’t been posting as much lately, and I definitely haven’t written any posts of substance! Well, I’m still trying to adjust to life with three little ones… and the sleep deprivation that comes with a newborn!

Little Xia has decided that she’s perfectly happy in Mommy’s arms, and doesn’t want to be anywhere else. This poses a problem for me, as I have tons to do throughout the day which requires the use of both arms! I’ve tried toting her around in a front carrier, but seeing as she still isn’t able to hold her head up I feel like she’s suffocating against my chest while I’m wearing her. I’ve thought about getting a sling, but I don’t know if I’d like it (anyone have any experience using one?).

I feel so useless around the house. Getting 3-4 hours of sleep at night is kicking my butt! There is so much to do around here, and I’m not good for anything at the moment.

Here’s an idea of how my days are looking:

After a long night of nursing baby, burping baby, changing baby, holding baby and sleeping a little in between, Titus wakes up at around 6:30am, ready to go.

I stumble out of bed, take him to the kitchen and feed us both breakfast. Next I get him changed and dressed, pottied and teeth brushed. Jada wakes up soon after, talking her head off about whatever she’d dreamt that night. I smile and nod. I feed her and help her get ready for the day.

If Xia is still asleep we all sneak outside (with baby monitor close by) and feed the chickens and the goats. Then we go back in. If Xia is awake, I have to wait till she’s sleeping again before we can go out. It has been so hot outside lately, and the mosquitoes have been horrible; I don’t like taking her out with us.

Then the day swings into full gear:

  • clean up kitchen
  • nurse, burp, and change Xia
  • do Jada’s lesson time
  • do a craft/project with the kids
  • snack time/clean up
  • nurse, burp, and change Xia
  • kids play while I clean
  • check my emails
  • do a load of laundry
  • nurse, burp, and change Xia
  • lesson time for Titus
  • lunch time/clean up
  • nurse, burp, and change Xia
  • clean up toys time
  • story time
  • nap time (my chance to rest too!)
  • nurse, burp and change Xia
  • do more laundry
  • clean up some more
  • check the chickens for eggs
  • nurse, burp and change Xia
  • computer time for mommy
  • get kids up from nap
  • snack time
  • get dinner ready
  • kids play while I do chores
  • nurse, burp and change Xia
  • feed everyone dinner
  • run to grocery store
  • nurse, burp and change Xia
  • clean up kitchen
  • kids get bath
  • story time
  • kids in bed (except crying baby who I’m holding for the next couple of hours)
  • nurse, burp and change Xia
  • computer time for mommy (while holding Xia till she goes to sleep)
  • Hit the sack (hopefully before 11:30pm)

Of course it doesn’t always happen in this order, some things get left out some days, and some days have more to do.

And no, I don’t get showers anymore.

No wonder I haven’t had much time to think about the garden or any of the other hundreds of projects to do around here!

Like I said, I’m not worth much right now. So hang in there as my posts kinda lag for a while. I’ll get back up to speed eventually!

If you have any post ideas let me know. Being brain dead has stifled my creativity!


Kendra
About Kendra 1103 Articles
A city girl learning to homestead on an acre of land in the country. Wife and homeschooling mother of four. Enjoying life, and everything that has to do with self sufficient living.

24 Comments

  1. Just thought I would share what I did with a little one and me needing a shower. You will feel so much better if you make a little time in the day to get a shower. You need to put little one in a bouncy chair, car seat or some such thing for their safety. You put it on the floor by the shower and you can then shower, with a fun peak now and then. It is amazing how well this can work. You both could end up looking forward to it. I hope this helps, it sure did for me.

  2. Lanna:
    LOL to having to nurse right there in front of the baby-waker-upper! With DS #1, I have so much company in the hospital and the first few days at home, company who would NOT give me just a minute or less to get baby situated to nurse, that finally I just started whipping them out in front of anyone who stopped by, male or female. Oddly enough, no one really thought much about it (which is the way it should be! that’s what they are for…to feed babies!).
    DS#3 is due in mid-October, and all this talk about wraps has pretty well convinced me to try one this time. I HATED the front carrier with DS #2, b/c he was such a HUGE baby, and this one will be too, but a wrap just might work.

  3. I loved my sling once I got it figured out. You are more than welcome to borrow it! I’ll even give lessons! LOL! We want to come see you!

  4. It takes time to adjust. No worries about the shower thing – I still have that issue quite frequently as the ones that sometimes still nap always tag-team me.

    When you say you think your kiddo feels like she’s suffocating in the front carrier – which carrier is it, and why do you feel she’s not doing so great in there?
    My kids all *loved* diving into my cleavage and snoozing away – carrier or not. I’m sure I’ve got a funny photo or twelve of that from over the years. I’ve even had well-meaning grandma-types at Costco come and poke my baby and wake him/her up because they though I was suffocating the babe when babe was happily sleeping in a mei tai (so then I have to *gasp* nurse right there in front of the shocked person who created the problem).

    It’ll get better and you’ll find your footing and new routine, just takes a little while until you aren’t always attached via the chest with the babe.

  5. A friend of mine sewed me a few slings and I loved them! Much better than the baby carriers on the market. Make your own! I particularrly liked the one she made using 3 yards of fabric because it had a long tail in the front that I could use to swaddle the baby, cover the baby, wipe off spit up, etc.

  6. I’ve done the babywearing thing with all of my kids and it has really been a lifesaver!
    You could make a wrap easily with some stretch gauze. So light and comfy!

  7. I think the transition from 2 to 3 was the hardest. I think you are still doing a great job. Busy and tired and like everyone else is saying you will figure out a rythym and eventually it will be a little better. I am ready to have #4 and I think this transition (hopefully) will not be so hard. I have no worries though. Mine are a little older so I will have a lot more help. Good luck and dotn overrun yourself.

  8. Actually, I’m surpised at how often you’ve been able to post since Xia was born! You are doing a great job!

    “baby does sleep with me most of the time. I do put her in her crib beside my bed, but if she wakes up and won’t go back to sleep she ends up on my chest. She sleeps wonderfully like that. I sleep okay, it makes me sleep lightly though.”

    I slept like this with BOTH my babies. Many say that co-sleeping is dangerous and will cause the baby to be clingy. Well, mine came out clingy so I wasn’t worried about that. LOL. And as far as dangerous – it depends on you. I’m the type that stays still when I sleep and, especially with my babies, I wake up any time they moved or breathed different. LOL. I got VERY good at propping myself and them up in order to nurse them while I took a cat nap. I found this worked great at night b/c I was able to get a lot more sleep this way and baby never woke up all the way to nurse (the minute I’d hear them start to wimper b/c of being hungry, I’d nurse them so they didn’t wake themselves up by screaming for a little while). This helped later as they were used to sleeping through the night more or less. That was a LIFE SAVER. I too kept a pack-n-play next to our bed to put the baby down and do changings right there at night. Again, a life saver.

    Also, b/c my kids were so clingy (esp. DD, my 1st), I got very good at nursing while doing other things. I nursed while I ate. I nursed while I took cat naps. I would relax in a hot tub while nursing the baby (the trick – get in the tub first, hollar at hubby to bring you baby, when you done nursing/burping hollar at hubby to come get baby). I never had a baby sling b/c I couldn’t figure them out but I think they’d be a lifesaver.

    Another tip… get into big-batch cooking (either once a month, once a week, etc.). I started this when pregnant w/ my 1st (in prep for maternity leave) and have been cooking that way ever since! It saves lots of money, time, etc. and you are able to cook more scratch meals this way. This would free up a lot of your time on the day-to-day basis. And, when you have a big cooking day (for the freezer), you can plan ahead to do it when hubby is home to help w/ the kids or when you can schedule to have someone come over and help a little with watching the kids while you cook. Crock pot meals work great for this too. Crock pots are a busy mom’s friend!

    Have a blessed day,
    Julie

  9. I remember what it was like when I had three. This is the hardest time in your life with little ones. I have 6 now and 3 was way much harder! I now have big ones that can hold a baby or read to a little one or just listen to one tell those stories you describe. When you ask my big ones what they remember about when their brother was born (number 3) they say, ” I remember that pig movie (Babe). We watched it a lot.” That sounds horrible to me but they don’t seem too scarred from it πŸ™‚

    My little one is 7 mos. old and life is smoothing out. Having a newborn is hard work! It gets easier quickly. Its funny how we forget from one child to the other how hard this time is. You are nursing and pacifing all the time, while two others need you too. Just remember this is the hardest it will ever get! If you can do this you can do anything!

  10. I loved my Hotsling and New Native Baby carrier with my 2nd child. She was colicky and always wanted to be held. My slings were life-savers!

  11. DD was exactly the same- if I wasn’t holding her, she wasn’t happy. We used a moby wrap when she was itty bitty, which is pretty inexpensive (like $35ish) and an ergo as she got older (more expensive $100ish). They were wonderful and she loved being snuggled up!!

  12. Another wrap lover here! I made my own by getting 5 yards of t-shirt like material and cutting it lenthwise. I spent a total of like $6 on it, and sent the other half to my birth buddy who loves it too! ($3 a peice isn’t bad.) I loved it, and Avery loved it. I wish I would have tried it sooner. Going on walks was wonderful wearing her! I also love a Mei tai, but when Avery got older. I tried a ring sling but never ever got the hang of it. I still have it though, and if for some reason you would like to try a ring sling, send me an e-mail and I will mail it your way.

    …and congratulations on sweet baby Xia! Seeing your older daughters reaction to her being there was so touching! I had to even show my husband. He got a kick out of it too. =o)

  13. Don’t be hard on yourself, I agree with the others that it sounds like you are doing quite a bit, probably more than most would try. Everyone is getting dressed, fed and bathed – sounds like a good day to me with a newborn and two other little ones! Get everyone to take a nap when the baby does and that’ll help a lot.

    (I read your blog just about every day even though I’ve only commented a few times – congratulations on your new baby! I’ve learned quite a bit from your blog).

    Kim

  14. It sounds like you’re doing great so far. Definately sounds like a great schedule. It should only get easier. I have 3 and all of them, I made sure when I feed them (except in middle of night) I would keep them awake after feeding, a half hour or so, more when older, and then put them in for their nap. That way they learn to go to sleep because they’re tired, not because their belly is full. Also I put all of mine on their bellies. Not everyone is up for that, but I have strong beliefs with that idea. And another one thing I did was boot the baby out of the master bedroom when they were 5-8wks old…and stopped the middle of the night feeding. As long as they’re gaining weight. It is kinda a tough love but I will tell you getting 8 hours of sleep for you is worth it. My kids still sleep 12 hours at night, the older ones less now that it’s summer. bUT IT IS A THOUGHT to keep in mind.

  15. I got a Maya wrap for a birthday present from my parents before our second was born. It was a LIFESAVER! It took a little bit for me to get used to how to use it, but once I did, I used it everyday. Our second is now almost a year old and I still use it occasionally when I HAVE to get something done and he wants to be help (especially outside!). Sounds like you are doing wonderfully! Sleep deprivation is awful. I feel for you! Hang in there, it will get better! πŸ™‚

  16. My mother sewed us a sling to use with #1. I liked it, unfortunately, the baby did not. She would sleep in the sling if daddy were using it, if it were me, she just wanted to be in my arms. So for me it was useless. Daddy used it pretty often though, especially for things like grocery shopping.

  17. I too used a Moby wrap, well, kind of. It’s the same idea, but my sister-in-law makes them so they’re much cheaper! My newest baby is now 2 1/2 months old. It’s nice for when they can’t hold up their head because you can tuck their head in giving you both arms free, but they aren’t totally inside like they are suffocating. You can still see their face. It was especially great for cooking dinner and grocery shopping. My baby loves it and he falls asleep in it. There are tons of ways to wrap them in different positions, but I haven’t tried them yet. Oh and it’s really comfortable, its not unusual for me to wear it for 4 hrs at a time with no problem.

    Sounds like you’re doing normal, meaning this is how most mommies are during the adjustment period, which is great! Keep your days basic and rest whenever possible!! Rested mommies are better mommies!

  18. It’s okay! It sounds like everything is like it should be with a newborn. I’m sure eventually you’ll get it all worked out.

  19. When I had my third child, she always wanted to be in my arms & nurse 24/7 πŸ™‚ I used a maya wrap & I loved it! I could carry her anywhere & it worked for an infant all the way to toddler. You can change the position of how she sits or lays down & still be able to use both hands.

  20. I was wondering, do you co-sleep with the baby? If you dont, it would be worth trying. I had no troubles getting my three to sleep thru the night very early on because we co-slept with them. It was much easier to feed babies if they were just right there. Most nights I would put them to sleep in their crib (right next to my side of the bed for convenience) and when they woke up I just brought them to bed with me and they stayed there the rest of the night. I never worried about them suffocating or anything because Im a light sleeper when I have a baby.

    • Maranda,

      To answer your question, yes, baby does sleep with me most of the time. I do put her in her crib beside my bed, but if she wakes up and won’t go back to sleep she ends up on my chest. She sleeps wonderfully like that. I sleep okay, it makes me sleep lightly though.

  21. BTW…it sounds like you are doing a fantastic job. As far as your crying baby at night and you not getting a shower how about this idea…you and baby take a nice warm bath at night together. You get fresh and clean and baby gets soothed by the warm water. A warm bath for a crying baby is a LIFE saver! It might start a relaxing before-bed routine. Then you could dry baby, smooth on some yummy lotion of your choice, diaper and dress baby, then settle down in dim room for baby to nurse and drift off to sleep. Just a thought! Anyway, keep your spirits up…you’re dong GREAT!!!!

  22. I bought a New Native Baby Sling and LOVED it!

    This is a GREAT wrap using just one piece of fabric:(there are TONS of ways to wrap a baby on this site. Be sure to check out the links on the left of the page:
    http://www.wrapyourbaby.com/frontwrapcrosscarry.htm

    (I learned how to wrap my baby like this using a baby doll to practice first, that way I wasn’t afraid of hurting him)

    Good luck! I loved using a baby sling and my only regret is that I didn’t have one with my first 3 children. I sure miss holding my wee one in my sling. Oh, and it made for such easy grocery shopping trips! 2 could walk, the 3 yr old rode in the cart and the baby was snugged up to me. BLISS!

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